Bulletproof Sombreros

The Situtation from The Jersey Shore threw out the first pitch in the Mets spring training game against the Astros on March 24th.  I mean if the situation is throwing out the first pitch, it’s got to be a sign that this is going to be a good season, right? 

Supposedly he took tips from Oliver Perez before hitting the mound.   According to the Situation’s twitter page, “Awesome experience meeting all the mets n David WRight – My throw game will admit was a lil off lol”.  My guess what he was trying to say was that his throwing game was a little bit off.  I’m not doctor though but I am a Cunning Linguist.

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Huffington Post – [James] Harrison has a rare antibody in his blood that can save babies with Rhesus disease, a deadly form of anemia. Because of his unique blood type, Harrison was also asked to undergo testing to help doctors find a way to prevent the disease. Over his 56 years of donating blood and helping to find cures, it is estimated that Harrison’s contributions have saved over 2 million babies.

Suck it Sully. You only save, what, 150 or so people by safely landing a plan in the Hudson? But you killed a flock of geese in the process? Sounds like you value the aviator over the avian, not what I would call a hero. This guy has spent the last 56 years of his life saving babies sacrificing nothing but his own blood. I like to think I have magic blood also because when Loisaida Sam came down with the Swine Flu I sat right by him day in and day out watching Seinfeld and Jeopardy and didn’t even get a sniffle. So if anyone wants to avoid the swine for the rest of their lives, I’ll be selling pints for $5,000. Anyway congratulations to this human blood bank because not many guys stand a chance competing with this guy at a bar picking up chicks. My only hero story is the time The Incident was about to enjoy a glass of milk because he thought expiration date wasn’t until the next day but I was like “wait a second The Incident, did you forget there is a seperate NYC expiration date?” Yeah that could have been ugly.

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For the many of you that work in the downtown Financial District of NYC, you might find one of your daily morning routines to include walking by this guy dressed up in a Panda suit.  Everytime I see this panda he’s got his head down in a mopey, sad motion.  Like what’s your deal dude?  Did the rest of your Panda suit wearing family die in some sort of purge or something.  Get over it man.  Like I know the economy is shit right now but at least you got a job.  And you think you’re making a statement with your mini panda bank?  You don’t see the bums asking for change on the subway carrying a cup that looks like it hasn’t shaved in two years and reaks of left over Taco Bell.  Cheer up Panda suit guy, it could be worse, you could be the Philly Phanatic.

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Hey Ocho, if you can make that check out for $1150 and have in it by April 1st, that would be great. Thanks.

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We seem to have figured out why the Republicans do not get along with Obama.  It has nothing to do with his health care reform or his policies.  It’s all comes down to what hes packing.  The Republicans just feel inferior that America has elected a well-educated black man who very well has a great chance of being well-endowed.  Don’t worry Obama, I’m with you.  I know exactly how it feels to have the white man be jealous of the size of my package.

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This came out last year and I had seen it before but was reminded of it today. Damien Walters is getting more and more exposure because of this video and has now joined Jackie Chan’s Stunt Team and has started a YouTube web series. It makes you feel like a waste of space but still check it out.

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Jon Miller, did you steal Joe Morgan’s crunk juice again?

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I added the “fucking” part. If you follow the trending topics on twitter at all you have probably noticed that this kid has been on there for like 45 straight weeks. I always see the name on there and I have no idea who the fuck this kid is. Am I really that out of touch with the youth and music today? I guess I’m still living in the days when I went to Ireland and heard Chumbawamba and brought it back to the states like three weeks before that song blew up. I thought I was at the forefront of the industry, but I guess we are living in a new age. Anyway I digress it looks like the Biebs just released a new album, My World 2.0, and it is blowing up the hashtags right now. I mean no one is even as worried that it is free cone day at Ben & Jerry’s. But I guess this is like crack to the teeny boppers where ice cream is more like cocaine to them. So to BPS nation let me know if you are on the @justinbieber train. Because I’m not nor do I think I care to be. Oh and I think he stole all his music from @azizansari anyway. The words just sound so sweet coming out of his mouth.

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There a couple promotions today that everyone should be taking note of if possible. It is both free pastry day at Starbuck’s and free cone day at Ben and Jerry’s. It’s like the perfect storm of forgetting your diet. You only have a little bit more time for the pastries but all afternoon for the cone. Enjoy

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When I say I’m gonna give something a shot I don’t lie. Dancing With The Stars started last night and I watched the whole episode…this might be harder than I thought.

One week down and here are a few things I have learned from the first episode of Dancing With The Stars:

1. Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens may change places half way through the season.

2. Every Erin Andrews critique will be one long euphemism.

3. I will not be able to understand one word Bruno says.

4. We will see Niecy Nash’s FUPA way too much.

5. Each episode will not help Evan Lysacek’s case for heterosexuality.

6. Over/Under: 25 moon walk references before Buzz Aldrin is eliminated

7. Buzz Aldrin’s wife might be a wind-up doll.

8. I still want Nicole Scherzinger to bear my children.

9. Len will be revealed to be a candidate to replace Jacob.

10. Kate Goslin gave her kids cell phones so she could get the asian vote.

11. Pamela Anderson is still alive.

I’ll still stand by Ochocinco but I won’t be disappointed if Nicole wins. Who wants in on the DWTS party next week. Any takers? I’ll make Guac?

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